1
00:00:03,601 --> 00:00:07,737
What do people think of
when they think of Germany?
2
00:00:07,772 --> 00:00:10,806
All: Uh...
3
00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:11,900
The Holocau--
4
00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:14,696
Hazelnut omelets! Exactly!
5
00:00:14,813 --> 00:00:17,781
And the next batch is almost...
6
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:19,846
Oh, god.
The Roomba heard that.
7
00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:21,054
Nobody move!
8
00:00:21,174 --> 00:00:26,540
[ Roomba whirs ]
9
00:00:26,592 --> 00:00:28,292
[ Melody plays ]
10
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:29,760
[ Beep ]
11
00:00:29,795 --> 00:00:31,511
[ All sigh ]
12
00:00:31,547 --> 00:00:34,598
And none of us remember
buying that?
13
00:00:34,633 --> 00:00:37,034
So there's a new web program
called Facebook.
14
00:00:37,524 --> 00:00:40,091
It's the most efficient way
to wish people happy birthday.
15
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,960
[ All chuckle ]
16
00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:43,328
What?
Why are you snickering?
17
00:00:43,363 --> 00:00:44,929
Dad, Facebook's, like,
18
00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:46,853
the oldest web site
in the world.
19
00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,761
Francine,
you missed a couple hazelnuts.
20
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:49,838
Some went under the fridge.
21
00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,997
I know some went under
the fridge, Klaus.
22
00:00:52,098 --> 00:00:54,299
That's why I'm sweeping
under the fridge.
23
00:00:54,334 --> 00:00:55,533
I'd like to join Facebook,
24
00:00:55,568 --> 00:00:57,534
but my work computer
won't let me.
25
00:00:57,654 --> 00:00:59,254
I hit the "enter" key
as hard as I could,
26
00:00:59,289 --> 00:01:00,688
but even that didn't work.
27
00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:02,190
Can you have a look
at my "enter" key?
28
00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:03,591
Dad, your keyboard's fine.
29
00:01:03,627 --> 00:01:05,126
I mean,
you broke your "enter" key,
30
00:01:05,161 --> 00:01:07,128
but that's not the problem.
There's probably a firewall.
31
00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:08,997
Just download Ultrasurf,
unzip the software,
32
00:01:09,032 --> 00:01:10,732
put the executable
on a flash drive --
33
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,534
Wait, let's back up a bit.
34
00:01:12,586 --> 00:01:14,802
Where does my computer go
when I'm asleep?
35
00:01:14,838 --> 00:01:16,538
Okay, not to be a nag,
36
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,790
but I think if you just sweep
with less of a wide motion
37
00:01:18,842 --> 00:01:20,124
and more of a --
38
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,843
You know what, Klaus?
39
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:24,546
If you want your precious
hazelnuts, you sweep 'em up.
40
00:01:24,548 --> 00:01:27,682
Ew, we all heard that.
41
00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:30,084
Tense.
42
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,153
Dad, why don't you just
bring me to work with you?
43
00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:33,938
I'll set your computer up.
44
00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:36,791
Hmm. You hanging around
all my badass colleagues.
45
00:01:36,826 --> 00:01:38,226
I don't know.
46
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:40,430
Dad, I won't embarrass you.
47
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,764
You know what?
Maybe it'll be good for you.
48
00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:44,282
Yes!
You'll wear pants.
49
00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:46,431
I have the perfect pair
of khakis from...
50
00:01:46,551 --> 00:01:48,870
Petite Sophisticate.
51
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,955
[ Sighs ]
Of course you do.
52
00:01:51,575 --> 00:01:54,542
Awesome! I get to miss
the rope climb in gym class.
53
00:01:54,662 --> 00:01:57,295
Not only are my arms too weak
to pull myself up,
54
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,080
but I don't like the feeling
the rope makes
55
00:01:59,082 --> 00:02:00,582
as it rubs
against my genitals...
56
00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:02,684
until I do like it.
57
00:02:02,719 --> 00:02:06,921
Steve, wait!
You haven't tried --
58
00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:12,010
Okay, Klaus, I will try
one of your hazel whatevers.
59
00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:15,063
Mmm! This is really good.
What's in it?
60
00:02:15,098 --> 00:02:17,732
Hazelnut, butter, eggs,
veal, milk.
61
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:19,167
[ Spits ]
I use whole milk. Some people --
62
00:02:19,202 --> 00:02:21,769
Wait. Veal?!
There's meat in this?
63
00:02:21,771 --> 00:02:24,656
For thickening.
You know what they say --
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00:02:24,691 --> 00:02:26,074
you can't make
65
00:02:26,109 --> 00:02:29,010
hazelnussomeletten
without kinderkuhfleische.
66
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:32,146
Klaus! I haven't meat
in over a year!
67
00:02:32,182 --> 00:02:33,998
[ Gagging, coughing ]
68
00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:37,018
How do you like yours, Roger?
69
00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:39,687
[ Roomba whirring ]
Ah, it's great, it's great.
70
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:42,090
♪
71
00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:44,842
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
72
00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:48,129
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
73
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:51,215
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
74
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:55,687
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
75
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,642
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say
76
00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:02,977
♪ Good --
♪ good morning, U.S.A.
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00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:11,744
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
78
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:13,688
Wow, this is cool.
79
00:03:13,723 --> 00:03:16,190
Dad, you think I could be
in the C.I.A. someday?
80
00:03:16,226 --> 00:03:17,992
I don't know, son.
81
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,711
The C.I.A. is all about guys
who can do stuff like this.
82
00:03:19,746 --> 00:03:20,995
[ Gasps, groans ]
83
00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:22,797
Whoa, that was awesome!
84
00:03:22,832 --> 00:03:25,333
[ Chuckles ]
Jim is an old friend.
85
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,086
[ Raspy voice ] It's Carl.
[ Gasps ]
86
00:03:30,423 --> 00:03:34,008
You see what those jackoffs did?
87
00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:35,343
They've blocked my view!
88
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,228
It's a strong word,
but it's appropriate.
89
00:03:37,263 --> 00:03:38,846
Those jackoffs!
90
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,348
Who?
Who are the jackoffs?
91
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,919
Our number one rival --
the National Security Agency.
92
00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:46,788
Spy on this, nerds!
93
00:03:46,823 --> 00:03:48,423
[ Window squeaks ]
94
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:49,977
Aren't you guys
on the same team?
95
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,351
Steve, let me show you
an informative film.
96
00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:54,295
Man:
The C.I.A. began as
97
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,030
the office
of strategic services.
98
00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,799
Stan: [ Lowered voice ]
Recognize the voice?
99
00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,250
...founded by
"Wild Bill" Donovan
100
00:03:59,285 --> 00:04:01,753
whose courage
and overall badass-ery
101
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:03,087
helped win World War II.
102
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:06,374
Have you figured it out?
It's a famous actor.
103
00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:08,176
"Sling Blade"?
104
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:10,795
He was everything
a C.I.A. agent should be --
105
00:04:10,847 --> 00:04:13,181
a brave,
big-chinned tough guy.
106
00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:14,882
Steve:
Oh, it's Billy Bob Thornton.
107
00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:16,267
Stan: Yeah! Couple of
the guys got to meet him.
108
00:04:16,302 --> 00:04:17,885
They said he was pretty cool.
109
00:04:17,937 --> 00:04:20,271
And though
we've had our failures...
110
00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:24,942
...we've won
our nation's trust,
111
00:04:24,978 --> 00:04:26,894
and we kept
that bastard Fidel Castro
112
00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:28,946
from getting his hands
on America.
113
00:04:28,982 --> 00:04:31,733
Then someone decided
the American taxpayers
114
00:04:31,735 --> 00:04:34,202
should foot the bill
for more government,
115
00:04:34,237 --> 00:04:37,238
and the National Security Agency was born.
116
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:40,293
They secretly monitor
all kinds of communication,
117
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:44,045
including the phone calls
of American citizens.
118
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,963
We fight over how much
of the federal budget
119
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:47,498
we should each get.
120
00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:50,885
Last year, those jackoffs
cost us a ping pong table.
121
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,254
Now our game room
only has four games.
122
00:04:53,256 --> 00:04:55,840
When I grow up, I wanna work
here with you, dad.
123
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:57,809
[ Scoffs ] Not if you're
sleeping on the double bank.
124
00:04:57,844 --> 00:05:02,263
All right. 1 to 9.
125
00:05:05,168 --> 00:05:06,634
[ Sniffles ] Sorry, toilet.
126
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:09,671
I know you've been a vegetarian
as long as I have.
127
00:05:09,706 --> 00:05:11,522
Oh, enough.
[ Toilet flushes ]
128
00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:14,909
Be honest. It was delicious
coming up, wasn't it, Hayley?
129
00:05:14,945 --> 00:05:18,413
What? No! I --
I'm a committed vegetarian.
130
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,448
Wasn't it, Hayley?
131
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,151
Fine, fine!
It was delicious!
132
00:05:23,186 --> 00:05:25,353
Listen, it's great that
you're a vegetarian.
133
00:05:25,388 --> 00:05:26,788
But you know that movie
"The Purge"?
134
00:05:26,866 --> 00:05:28,656
Is that the movie where
those girls go shopping?
135
00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:30,625
No, Hayley, you're thinking
of "The Splurge,"
136
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,093
my unproduced screenplay,
137
00:05:32,128 --> 00:05:33,361
and I told you
not to speak of it
138
00:05:33,396 --> 00:05:36,731
because people steal
great ideas.
139
00:05:37,189 --> 00:05:39,723
What you need is
a vegetarian purge --
140
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:42,393
one day a year
when you go crazy on meat.
141
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:44,795
No. That violates
all the principles --
142
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,063
[ faucet squeaks ]
143
00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:49,450
[ Imitates water gushing ]
144
00:05:49,485 --> 00:05:51,402
Think it over.
I'll be in your bath.
145
00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:53,120
I'm not actually gonna
clean myself.
146
00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:55,706
I just like to sit on the drain
while it empties.
147
00:05:55,741 --> 00:05:57,812
Now you share something
crazy about you.
148
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,081
Okay, I culled your bloatware,
disabled running services.
149
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:07,084
Did you know you were still
using Netscape navigator?
150
00:06:07,119 --> 00:06:08,552
I use these!
151
00:06:08,587 --> 00:06:11,638
Time for lunch, Smith.
Ah, your son.
152
00:06:11,674 --> 00:06:13,757
Put her there, young man.
153
00:06:13,809 --> 00:06:16,143
Mr. Bullock, can I come to
lunch with you guys?
154
00:06:16,178 --> 00:06:17,928
Hmm, with that limp handshake?
155
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,930
Strength's not my speciality,
but --
156
00:06:19,932 --> 00:06:22,816
Yes, I'm not sure you should
come with us to Applebee's.
157
00:06:22,852 --> 00:06:25,986
We have a reputation to
uphold with our waitress, Trish.
158
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:29,326
She's a single mother
with sass to spare!
159
00:06:29,446 --> 00:06:30,446
Coming, Smith?
160
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,986
Or do you have plans
with Edward Sissyhands here?
161
00:06:36,515 --> 00:06:40,484
Steve will be good here.
You still have work to do.
162
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:45,122
Sorry about my goofball son, sir.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
163
00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:46,623
His handshake
grosses me out, too.
164
00:06:46,659 --> 00:06:49,827
Not exactly C.I.A. material.
165
00:06:56,235 --> 00:06:57,935
You convinced me.
166
00:06:57,970 --> 00:06:59,970
About what?
Baths make me forgetful.
167
00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:02,573
That I might as well
eat meat today.
168
00:07:02,608 --> 00:07:05,742
I still love it,
and I really miss it.
169
00:07:05,778 --> 00:07:09,847
For the next 24 hours,
Hayley Smith is a carnivore.
170
00:07:09,882 --> 00:07:11,982
I want to eat a cheeseburger.
171
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:13,984
Ow! Too hard.
172
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:19,656
Stupid dad.
Not C.I.A. material?
173
00:07:19,658 --> 00:07:21,792
So what if I can't shake
a hand right?
174
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,877
Let's see what happens when
I refuse to update your adobe.
175
00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:25,129
No, no, that's too much.
176
00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:26,747
Every Adobe update is critical
177
00:07:26,799 --> 00:07:28,715
and should be
installed immediately.
178
00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:30,234
But stupid dad!
179
00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:31,802
[ Computer bloops ]
180
00:07:33,572 --> 00:07:35,706
Who's watching me?
[ Computer bloops ]
181
00:07:39,311 --> 00:07:43,180
[ Cell phone blooping ]
182
00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:49,086
Who are you?
183
00:07:49,121 --> 00:07:51,188
A guy who knows that
Amanda Duquette digs you.
184
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:53,870
And no shame in that.
She's a solid six.
185
00:07:53,905 --> 00:07:57,207
Sixes and fives --
that's where the bargains are.
186
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:58,508
How do you know about Amanda?
187
00:07:58,543 --> 00:07:59,709
Oh, sorry. I'm Nat.
188
00:07:59,744 --> 00:08:02,378
I work for
the National Security Agency.
189
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:05,648
We saw what you were doing
with your dad's computer,
190
00:08:05,684 --> 00:08:08,852
and we think you, Steve Smith,
are N.S.A. material.
191
00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:12,722
Really? Hey, do you ever listen
to my conversations with snot?
192
00:08:12,757 --> 00:08:14,357
[ Scoffs ]
We're the N.S.A.
193
00:08:14,392 --> 00:08:16,593
We got better things to do
than listen
194
00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:18,494
to two confused kids
flirt with each other.
195
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,630
[ Chuckles ] What a relief.
196
00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:25,901
Your dad ditched you to go
to Applebee's with his friends.
197
00:08:25,953 --> 00:08:27,619
How'd you know that?
198
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:33,025
We're the N.S.A. We know
who goes to Applebee's.
199
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:34,526
See, we don't learn stuff
200
00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:36,404
the dumb,
old-fashioned C.I.A. way.
201
00:08:36,524 --> 00:08:38,191
We use our heads here.
202
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,648
Come on.
Let me show you a movie.
203
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:42,048
I'm watching a lot
of movies today.
204
00:08:42,084 --> 00:08:43,733
Man: World War II
wasn't won by jocks.
205
00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:47,037
It was won by nerds.
206
00:08:47,072 --> 00:08:48,738
We built the first computers
207
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,958
and broke the Japanese
and German codes.
208
00:08:51,994 --> 00:08:54,327
Steve: Now this one I got.
That's George Takei.
209
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,663
A single N.S.A. computer
210
00:08:56,715 --> 00:09:00,166
does more than
a hundred C.I.A. agents.
211
00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:03,086
We monitor
the world's communications.
212
00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:07,674
If you're talking,
the N.S.A. is listening.
213
00:09:07,676 --> 00:09:09,059
That's what keeps America safe.
214
00:09:09,094 --> 00:09:10,894
[ Crunching ]
That was George Takei.
215
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:12,645
Yeah, I said that already.
216
00:09:12,681 --> 00:09:14,731
Sorry, I can't hear anything
when I'm munching my corns.
217
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:17,317
[ Crunches ]
218
00:09:17,352 --> 00:09:18,852
Mmm! [ Crunching ]
219
00:09:18,854 --> 00:09:21,187
Oh! Shh!
220
00:09:21,223 --> 00:09:24,024
Oh, I'm so disgusted
with myself,
221
00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:26,426
but I can't stop eating this.
222
00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:28,328
What did I say?
You would love it.
223
00:09:28,363 --> 00:09:30,080
And what happened?
You love it!
224
00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:32,032
Oh, we're not stopping here,
Roger.
225
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,401
If I'm having a meat day,
I'm going all the way.
226
00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:37,203
I want to get weird.
You mean...
227
00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:40,006
Roger, take me to Koreatown.
228
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,275
Take you? I mean,
can we just go to Koreatown?
229
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,377
What's gonna happen?
I'm gonna be driving,
230
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,179
and you're gonna sit
in the back?
231
00:09:46,214 --> 00:09:48,481
I'm glad your son
didn't ruin our lunch.
232
00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:51,217
It would've revolted me
to see his limp wrist
233
00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:53,053
holding up a chicken tender.
234
00:09:53,088 --> 00:09:54,421
And Trish!
What would Trish think?
235
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,056
Arm strength isn't his thing.
236
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,058
Steve will find his thing,
I don't know,
237
00:09:58,093 --> 00:09:59,759
working on a computer
someplace, like...
238
00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:01,227
♪ Doop be doop be doop
239
00:10:01,263 --> 00:10:04,197
[ laughs ]
Nerds are like that.
240
00:10:04,232 --> 00:10:05,832
♪ Doop be doop be doop
[ Laughs ]
241
00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:07,734
[ Gasps ]
That's not how I talk!
242
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:09,869
I don't say...
♪ Doop be doop be doop
243
00:10:09,905 --> 00:10:12,238
you guys are watching them
all the time?
244
00:10:12,274 --> 00:10:13,973
Yeah, the more dirt
we get on them,
245
00:10:14,009 --> 00:10:15,775
the more of their budget
we can take.
246
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:17,343
We've been trying to get on
to your dad's computer,
247
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,045
but we can't figure out
where he keeps his files.
248
00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:22,015
[ Laughter ]
♪ Doop be doop be doop
249
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,450
How is he still doing it?
250
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,885
And how is he still
getting laughs?!
251
00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:32,926
There you are. Hey,
sorry about lunch, buddy.
252
00:10:32,961 --> 00:10:34,861
But thanks
for setting up Facebook.
253
00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:36,362
Facebook...on!
254
00:10:36,398 --> 00:10:40,500
Notify my friends of
my many accomplishments... on!
255
00:10:40,535 --> 00:10:42,402
I need to take your disks, okay?
256
00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:46,506
To get them...
digitally cleaned.
257
00:10:46,541 --> 00:10:48,408
Should I get the whole
computer cleaned?
258
00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:49,943
Would that make it happier?
259
00:10:49,978 --> 00:10:52,212
No.
It doesn't feel anything.
260
00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:54,914
Sometimes I wish
I was a computer.
261
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:57,217
You sound a little ominous,
Steve.
262
00:10:57,252 --> 00:10:58,451
Is everything okay?
263
00:10:58,487 --> 00:11:00,086
Yes, everything's fine.
264
00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:03,056
Cool!
265
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:06,009
[ Squeaks ]
266
00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:07,927
Eat it, Hayley.
Eat it!
267
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:10,013
[ Shudders ]
268
00:11:11,299 --> 00:11:15,301
[ Groaning ]
269
00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:17,137
[ Slurps and gulps ]
270
00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:18,805
Oh, my god.
271
00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,940
I could feel him fighting
all the way down my throat.
272
00:11:20,976 --> 00:11:22,609
He did not wanna die.
273
00:11:22,644 --> 00:11:25,478
Hayley,
what's your wildest fantasy?
274
00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:27,213
I've been kidnapped
by three African guys,
275
00:11:27,249 --> 00:11:28,915
and while
the whole village watches,
276
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,951
their most powerful warrior
demands that I disrobe.
277
00:11:31,987 --> 00:11:34,320
Whoa, okay, fascinating.
Will return to.
278
00:11:34,356 --> 00:11:36,589
But I meant
your wildest food fantasy.
279
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:39,359
I, uh...
I don't know if I should say.
280
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,327
Oh, this is gonna be good!
281
00:11:42,564 --> 00:11:45,231
I've always wanted to eat
a gorilla --
282
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,967
a gorilla that can speak
sign language.
283
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:49,335
I wanna eat its brain.
284
00:11:49,387 --> 00:11:52,055
Oh, that is truly horrifying.
285
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:55,575
Oh, I'm disgusted!
You should be disgusted.
286
00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:58,978
But I do know a guy.
287
00:12:01,449 --> 00:12:03,149
I can't believe this.
288
00:12:03,185 --> 00:12:05,218
The C.I.A. would be stupid
to store their data this way.
289
00:12:05,253 --> 00:12:06,486
They are stupids!
290
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:08,288
Oh, with what's on here,
291
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:10,857
we could take them down!
There won't even be a C.I.A.
292
00:12:10,892 --> 00:12:12,525
Wait, that seems a tad strong.
293
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:14,027
You don't get a vote.
294
00:12:14,062 --> 00:12:15,628
I thought
I was N.S.A. material.
295
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:19,365
Not anymore. You're what we call
a "discarded asset."
296
00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:20,867
[ Door whooshes ]
Later, traitor.
297
00:12:20,869 --> 00:12:23,169
[ Gasps ]
298
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:24,537
[ Door whooshes ]
299
00:12:28,143 --> 00:12:30,877
[ Door whooshes ] Sorry, gotta
swipe you out of this door, too.
300
00:12:30,929 --> 00:12:33,246
[ Door whooshes ] That'll get
you as far as the cafeteria.
301
00:12:33,281 --> 00:12:34,914
Someone there will have to
swipe you to the garage.
302
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:36,649
Then you can just walk up
the ramp.
303
00:12:36,685 --> 00:12:38,618
Technically, you have
to swipe at the top,
304
00:12:38,653 --> 00:12:40,053
but it's just one of
those arm gates,
305
00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:43,623
so you can just duck
under it. Uh, bye!
306
00:12:43,658 --> 00:12:45,325
[ Door whooshes ]
307
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:48,725
[ Crickets chirping ]
308
00:12:48,761 --> 00:12:52,045
Oh...
[ Mumbles indistinctly ]
309
00:12:52,097 --> 00:12:53,347
[ Playing harmonica ]
310
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:57,017
The C.I.A.
What happened to the C.I.A.?
311
00:12:57,052 --> 00:13:01,296
Hush, papa. The C.I.A. is gone.
It's been gone for a long time.
312
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:05,146
Who betrayed me?
Someone betrayed me.
313
00:13:05,253 --> 00:13:07,086
Well, I did it.
314
00:13:07,088 --> 00:13:10,089
I provided food for the family.
315
00:13:10,141 --> 00:13:11,340
It's Klaus.
316
00:13:11,392 --> 00:13:12,959
But... But...
317
00:13:12,994 --> 00:13:16,262
[ Voice breaking ]
We can't afford tartar sauce!
318
00:13:16,314 --> 00:13:20,099
[ All sobbing ]
319
00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:23,356
Well, I guess I'd better go
to my job as a stripper.
320
00:13:23,476 --> 00:13:26,105
[ Horns honking ]
321
00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:29,108
[ Siren wailing ]
322
00:13:29,847 --> 00:13:31,012
What's happened?
[ Latin music playing ]
323
00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:32,578
[ Spanish accent ]
With your C.I.A. gone,
324
00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:34,614
it was easy for Cuba
to invade United States.
325
00:13:34,616 --> 00:13:37,366
All hail Fidel!
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
326
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:39,881
[ Gasps ]
What a horrible nightmare.
327
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,004
And why did I include that
extra part
328
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,173
where I actually saw
mom stripping?
329
00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:46,125
One problem at a time.
330
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,460
[ Snoring ]
331
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:50,797
Dad. Dad, wake up.
I did something terrible.
332
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,083
I was snooping on you,
333
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,968
and I heard
what you said about me.
334
00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:56,337
And I got so mad
I betrayed you to the N.S.A.
335
00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:57,639
N.S.A.?
336
00:13:57,674 --> 00:13:58,890
I gave them
all your floppy disks,
337
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,341
and they're gonna use them
338
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:01,809
to put the C.I.A.
out of business!
339
00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:04,345
I feel so awful.
How can I make this up to you?
340
00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,314
I'm afraid that's impossible,
son.
341
00:14:06,349 --> 00:14:08,816
Wha... No! Papa, please!
342
00:14:08,852 --> 00:14:12,353
Remember when you and I built
that fort out in the woods?
343
00:14:12,355 --> 00:14:15,023
I'd suggest you go live
in that fort, Steve.
344
00:14:15,075 --> 00:14:17,575
No traitors can live
under my roof.
345
00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:20,528
Can --
can I say goodbye to mom?
346
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:25,366
That's her waving goodbye,
Steve.
347
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:31,039
I'm on my own...
maybe forever.
348
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:34,709
[ Crying ]
349
00:14:34,761 --> 00:14:38,596
I should probably wait
to eat my snacks.
350
00:14:38,632 --> 00:14:40,632
I'll just put 'em
where I can see 'em.
351
00:14:40,684 --> 00:14:45,053
[ Thunder crashes ]
352
00:14:45,105 --> 00:14:48,056
[ Bird chirps ]
353
00:14:48,108 --> 00:14:49,891
[ Squawks ]
354
00:14:49,943 --> 00:14:51,559
[ Inhales deeply ]
355
00:14:51,611 --> 00:14:54,195
[ Southern accent ] So y'all
wanna eat a signing gorilla?
356
00:14:54,231 --> 00:14:55,897
We got one. Mittens!
357
00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,815
[ Door squeaks ]
358
00:15:01,071 --> 00:15:03,371
You got the money?
359
00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:06,791
All right. You folks think
about wine pairings.
360
00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,576
[ Stomp ]
361
00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:12,497
Are we okay with this?
362
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:14,832
After today,
I am never eating meat again.
363
00:15:14,884 --> 00:15:16,417
But I'm going out on top.
364
00:15:16,419 --> 00:15:18,503
No, I mean,
are we okay with wine?
365
00:15:18,555 --> 00:15:20,922
I've always heard beer
with gorilla brain.
366
00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:23,925
[ Thunder crashing ]
367
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,730
[ Steve shivering ]
368
00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:30,431
Why did I betray my dad?
369
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,650
And why did I eat all my snacks?
370
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:35,103
You'll always have snacks
as long as I'm around.
371
00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:36,571
Dad!
372
00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:38,773
Steve,
I was hurt you betrayed me.
373
00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:41,025
But now I can see
where it came from.
374
00:15:41,077 --> 00:15:42,610
I was just so mad.
375
00:15:42,662 --> 00:15:45,079
You told your friends
I wasn't C.I.A. material!
376
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,198
And then I turned out not to be!
377
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,867
Whoa, buck up, son.
I'm sorry I said that.
378
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,452
And I was wrong, anyway.
379
00:15:51,504 --> 00:15:53,538
I mean, you figured out my plan.
380
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,039
You're right. I...
Your plan?
381
00:15:55,091 --> 00:15:57,425
You knew I'd never
kick you out of the house.
382
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,711
I just needed to get you
somewhere where I knew
383
00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:01,512
the N.S.A. couldn't snoop on us.
384
00:16:01,548 --> 00:16:03,014
Right. Your plan.
385
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:06,634
That's why I could afford to eat
all my snacks right away.
386
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,020
I didn't have to play
the long game.
387
00:16:11,691 --> 00:16:13,941
Now, where do you think
my disks are?
388
00:16:13,977 --> 00:16:15,943
Forget the disks.
They've uploaded the data.
389
00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,945
They won't be clouded yet,
not secure enough.
390
00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:20,982
But it will be somewhere
backed up on their server farm.
391
00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:22,784
Okay, I don't know
what any of that means.
392
00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:24,619
The crucial thing is
we get those disks back.
393
00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:26,487
How are we gonna get in there?
394
00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:29,490
They have triple lock,
fingerprint encryption systems.
395
00:16:29,542 --> 00:16:30,825
Did you check the roof?
396
00:16:30,827 --> 00:16:31,993
Nerds never go up on the roof.
397
00:16:32,045 --> 00:16:33,795
'Cause of the sun.
398
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:38,049
[ Pop, rope whirs ]
399
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,834
Come on, Steve! Follow me up!
400
00:16:39,886 --> 00:16:43,171
A rope climb?
Dad, I can't do it!
401
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,672
Sure, you can, Steve!
402
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:47,175
I don't always say it,
but I believe in you!
403
00:16:47,227 --> 00:16:49,177
[ Groans ]
404
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:52,930
[ Grunting ]
405
00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:54,182
[ Groans ]
406
00:16:54,234 --> 00:16:57,652
I'm doing it!
All by myself.
407
00:16:59,239 --> 00:17:00,772
[ Grunts ] Uh-oh.
408
00:17:00,824 --> 00:17:02,940
Here's where the rubbing
starts to feel funny.
409
00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:04,992
This'll be a bad time
for a boner.
410
00:17:05,028 --> 00:17:07,111
Don't think about
the rope at school.
411
00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:09,614
Aah! [ Panting ]
412
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:12,116
I did it! Go home?
413
00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:14,001
Job's not done, son.
414
00:17:14,037 --> 00:17:16,120
[ Metal clangs, thuds ]
415
00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:21,959
Well, isn't this cute?
Father and son.
416
00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:23,878
Yeah, that's right.
417
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,799
This is my dad,
Stan Smith of the C.I.A.
418
00:17:27,851 --> 00:17:30,685
C.I.A.?!
No, The-Theodore!
419
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,720
[ Sighs ] Shoot them.
420
00:17:32,772 --> 00:17:34,689
You ever even fire
that thing, son?
421
00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:37,692
[ Nerdy voice ] No. I downloaded
a PDF about gun use.
422
00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,060
Shoot him!
423
00:17:39,112 --> 00:17:41,863
[ Gunshot, glass shatters ]
Aah! So loud!
424
00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:44,949
You're just a bunch of nerds.
What do bullies do to nerds?
425
00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:46,567
Steve?
426
00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:47,819
A purple nurple!
427
00:17:47,871 --> 00:17:50,321
Ah, ah, ah!
Titty twister!
428
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:54,125
Okay, now how 'bout one
that's not on the nipple?
429
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,994
Noogie!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
430
00:17:57,046 --> 00:18:00,081
Quit punching yourself!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
431
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,666
Pig belly!
[ Slapping sound ]
432
00:18:01,718 --> 00:18:05,636
Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah!
Wedgie! No. Atomic wedgie!
433
00:18:05,672 --> 00:18:07,004
[ High-pitched voice ]
Aah, aah, aah!
434
00:18:07,056 --> 00:18:10,224
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ah, ah, ah!
435
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,593
Aah! Ow, ow, ow.
436
00:18:12,645 --> 00:18:16,764
You're what we call...
a discarded asshole.
437
00:18:16,816 --> 00:18:18,266
[ Door whooshes ]
438
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:19,767
Lousy machines.
439
00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:22,336
Storing America’s private data.
440
00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:23,771
[ Clanking ]
441
00:18:23,823 --> 00:18:25,907
Dad, dad!
I know a better way.
442
00:18:25,942 --> 00:18:28,659
They were all connected
in a series.
443
00:18:30,079 --> 00:18:32,079
Like Christmas lights, papa.
444
00:18:32,115 --> 00:18:37,218
[ Electricity crackling ]
445
00:18:37,253 --> 00:18:39,036
[ Machines powering down ]
No!
446
00:18:39,088 --> 00:18:44,759
Error 404 --
N.S.A. files not found.
447
00:18:44,794 --> 00:18:46,694
Nat, are you gonna take
that underwear off your head?
448
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:50,731
It's the only thing
that feels good right now.
449
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:53,134
[ Crickets chirping ]
450
00:18:53,169 --> 00:18:54,352
[ Fork clinks ]
451
00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:56,854
Mmm, I think I just ate
the memory
452
00:18:56,890 --> 00:18:59,640
of when it was taken away
from its mom.
453
00:18:59,692 --> 00:19:01,609
So no sides at all?
454
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:05,146
[ Fork clinks ]
455
00:19:05,148 --> 00:19:08,316
Mmm, oh...
456
00:19:08,368 --> 00:19:11,118
Oh, no.
Oh, this was a mistake.
457
00:19:11,154 --> 00:19:12,987
You're damn right it was!
458
00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:16,157
Gus Derwitt, U.S. Fish
& Wildlife Service.
459
00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:18,826
We got you on tape
eating an endangered species.
460
00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:20,378
That's
a 10-year prison term.
461
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,997
Please, she accidentally ate
veal this morning.
462
00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:24,715
You can see how we got here.
463
00:19:24,751 --> 00:19:26,884
We're so sorry!
Please don't turn us in!
464
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,754
Hmm, well, my hands
aren't exactly clean either.
465
00:19:29,806 --> 00:19:31,172
There was probably a way
to do this
466
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:33,808
without butchering a gorilla.
467
00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:36,177
Tell you what, give me $10,000,
468
00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:37,929
I'll let you walk.
469
00:19:39,148 --> 00:19:40,681
I have $60.
470
00:19:40,683 --> 00:19:43,401
I have two stamps
and a used ticket
471
00:19:43,436 --> 00:19:45,069
to Chicago’s Adler Planetarium.
472
00:19:45,104 --> 00:19:48,689
Hand it over and get out of here
before I change my mind.
473
00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:54,362
[ Gulps ]
There should be sides.
474
00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:56,998
We got 60 bucks
475
00:19:57,033 --> 00:20:01,168
and whatever two forever stamps
is worth these days.
476
00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:03,120
[ Growls ]
477
00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:05,089
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
478
00:20:05,124 --> 00:20:07,875
[ Grunts ]
479
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:09,093
[ Growls ]
480
00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:11,045
The old gorilla brain switcheroo
481
00:20:11,097 --> 00:20:13,097
doesn't play like it used to.
482
00:20:13,132 --> 00:20:14,932
Maybe we need a new swindle.
483
00:20:16,853 --> 00:20:19,520
You wanna grift with
someone else? That's fine.
484
00:20:19,556 --> 00:20:22,139
But you still gon' be
my husband.
485
00:20:22,191 --> 00:20:23,774
[ Grunts ]
486
00:20:28,064 --> 00:20:30,948
Tonight, you proved
you are C.I.A. material.
487
00:20:30,984 --> 00:20:33,067
We just did a mission together.
488
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,402
Put her there.
489
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:37,872
Hmm, nothing we can do
about the sweat.
490
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,407
That's from your mom's side.
491
00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:40,649
But you can tighten up the grip.
492
00:20:41,393 --> 00:20:44,335
Alright, alright, still pretty weak,
but getting there.
493
00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:48,641
There it is, now there's a handshake.
494
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:51,286
Cute kid. You leaving him as a tip?
495
00:20:52,578 --> 00:20:54,289
Cause last time you didn't leave a tip.
496
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:56,328
Trish.
497
00:20:56,448 --> 00:21:07,287
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com